Friday, 12 December 2014

Timber ! ...

Time to get the wood in ...

No easy task as whatever supplier you want to use, their supplies are wet from the deluge we have been suffering. So as my usual supplier could not be contacted, it was time to try someone new.

So through a friend, who has a friend, who turns out, to be the son, of a friend. The telephone lines buzzed and a potential delivery time, became a confirmed delivery time. This became an offered earlier delivery time - Probably he had spoken to his dad, But we were engaged in a cross town paper chase (Twice across town yesterday)

So at the appointed hour, (A dry day between foul weather days) a truck appeared, just as I was changing a light bulb. Having navigated the street, He had to back out and do it again. Then truck pointing in the right direction, We set about unloading it all.

So first you get it inside the house, our friend asks where is the cellar. A question I am often asked, one that I would love to ask the man who built the house. The probable answer, there is a very large and impenetrable rock under the house.

So you throw it all in from the truck, onto SWMBO recently 'lovingly cleaned' floor ...

This process is designed by me to awaken, any scorpions, or other infestation hiding away in the wood pile.


Then you pay the man, as you are both sweating profusely. He needs to go and have a beer - or do it all again somewhere else. Then you find you cannot shut the door, so relocate part of the woodpile, so that you can. 

Its at times like this you appreciate, that the woodman has cut all the logs to an apprpriate size for the woodburner. I will not have to chainsaw up any of this delivery ...


Then you pop out to collect Junior from an after school activity, just as the skies darken and threaten to deposit another deluge of rain upon us

Then on my return, sort out, and start to stack the wood. I split the delivery three ways. 
  • Split logs
  • Round logs
  • Branches (For kindling)
In this process, I met two of the largest spiders, that I have ever seen. Having introduced themselves to me, I captured them, and introduced them to their new winter home, my neighbours tree.


Its a tricky job balancing and stacking the woods. There were a couple of minor landslides, the stack is inclined to topple over. You find a nice lump of olive, and gently knock the stacked woods - like nails back into a tight formation.

This is when your back starts to hurt, SWMBO comes to survey the situation, makes you a cup of tea, and makes a tactical withdrawal from the scene ...



The first row is now completed, then you sort the woods for the next row, and start stacking again. Keying the second row, into the first row. Its rather like building a wall. Then if you have done it more or less right, it should end up look something rather like this ...


So three hours later, I now have a sore and stiffening back. I had consumed two cups of tea, and torn the knee on my ancient jeans. T shirt saturated, as I had shifted a 1/4 ton of wood around four or five times. There had been three spiders, two huge, one small. No scorpions, some black ants which bite.

Stig and Pelle in Norway will be laughing at this - Its second nature to them. They are probably on their second tree of winter - JH I know how you feel. I 'Hake' being like this  ....

Then you spray the entire heap, with an entire can of ant & cockroach killer. Ensuring a thick application around the wall and floor where the pile is located. Any creepy crawly that touches the line of insecticide, will not proceed much further ...

This also happens to be one of just a few occasions, that SWMBO - Never castigates me for the state of the mopped floor tiles, the footprints or anything else ...

Later update:
Weather has been foul again overnight. The trawlers stayed in port again, due to the weather. The school run this morning, and the streets were awash. Looks like it will be much better from tomorrow. We do need some sun here on the rock, and it looks promising in that direction ...

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