Tuesday, 4 March 2014

America for just ten quid ...

We are getting quite excited as Athens and Thessaloniki, will soon to be hubs for Ryanair. We will be able to see the aircraft fly over, as they tackle the domination of the 'Inter city' route by Aegean.

So Greece to London for a couple of quid, then America for just £10, well plus around £150 - £200 in hidden charges, and probably the same in clicks on their website. 

'Yes' I do want to fly

'No' I do not want to take any luggage, or want to buy a suitcase, that will get thrown in the hold, via the tarmac, when the overhead bins are full, take their compulsory insurance, need a hotel, hire a car, want to make a donation to charity, need any of their lottery tickets, or enjoy a stunning breakfast bap - served by a lovely lady who has paid a lot of money up front, to wear the uniform.

Yes I will want to use the toilet at €5, or €10 upgrade with the complementary flush mid atlantic

Ooops wrong click start again at fly - only two seats left and the price has just gone up ...

Hopefully they will be landing in America, rather than an airport nearby, but not quite America - Like Canada or Greenland or on bad weather days - Cork ...

Here is a joke doing the rounds, about the great man with the big ideas ...

Ryanair’s Micheal O’Leary arrives in a hotel in Dublin, he goes to the bar and asks for a pint of draught Guinness.

The barman nodded and said, “That will be o…ne Euro please, Mr. O’Leary.” Somewhat taken aback, O’Leary replied, “That’s very cheap,” and handed over his money. “Well, we try to stay ahead of the competition”, said the barman. “And we are serving free pints every Wednesday evening from 6 until 8.

We have the cheapest beer in Ireland”

“That is remarkable value” Michael comments “I see you don’t seem to have a glass, so you’ll probably need one of ours. That will be 3 euro please. O’Leary scowled, but paid up.

He took his drink and walked towards a seat. “Ah, you want to sit down?” said the barman.

“That’ll be an extra 2 euro. – You could have pre-book the seat, and it would have only cost you a Euro.” “I think you may to be too big for the seat sir, can I ask you to sit in this frame please”

Michael attempts to sit down but the frame is too small and when he can’t squeeze in he complains “Nobody would fit in that little frame”. “I’m afraid if you can’t fit in the frame you’ll have to pay an extra surcharge of €4.00 for your seat sir” O’Leary swore to himself, but paid up.

“I see that you have brought your laptop with you” added the barman. “And since that wasn’t pre-booked either, that will be another 3 euro.”

O’Leary was so annoyed that he walked back to the bar, slammed his drink on the counter, and yelled, “This is ridiculous, I want to speak to the manager”.

“Ah, I see you want to use the counter,” says the barman, “that will be 2 euro please.”

O’Leary’s face was red with rage. “Do you know who I am?” “Of course I do Mr. O’Leary,” “I’ve had enough, What sort of Hotel is this? I come in for a quiet drink and you treat me like this. I insist on speaking to a manager!”

“Here is his E mail address, or if you wish, you can contact him between 9 and 9.10 every morning, Monday to Tuesday at this free phone number. Calls are free, until they are answered, then there is a talking charge of only 10 cent per second” 

“I will never use this bar again.

“OK sir, but remember, we are the only hotel in Ireland selling pints for one euro ...

2 comments:

  1. Guess you have seen this before, but, anyway, can be seen over ' over:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZAg0lUYHHFc

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    Replies
    1. Here is another passenger, trying to break the rules ...

      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EWrzVhV1v60#t=11

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